Shadow of the Hawk by K. S. Jones

Author:K. S. Jones [Jones, K.S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Astraea Press, LLC
Published: 2015-03-02T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

God's Grace

It was four in the morning when I heard Mama scream. I was up out of bed and running for her room while my eyes were still half-shut.

I opened her bedroom door without so much as a knock and saw her kneeling at Grace's cradle. Daddy was down on one knee beside her.

"What's wrong, Mama?" I was nearly shouting, but neither Mama nor Daddy answered. Behind me, Cora pressed so close she nearly pushed me through the doorway. Intending to hold her back, I reached behind, but grabbed a fist full of nightshirt instead and just held on tight. "Is baby Grace all right?"

When Mama stood up, I saw Grace cradled in her arms. Mama had buried her face in the baby's swaddling blanket, and she was crying like the night she'd heard about Henry.

"Mama, what's wrong?" Cora's scared whisper snuck out from behind my right elbow.

Standing up, Daddy turned to us. "The baby has died, girls." A sobbing sound spurted out behind his words.

"How?" The word screamed out of my throat.

"She just stopped breathing, Sooze." Daddy's voice quieted. "That's all. She just couldn't breathe no more."

Mama carried Grace in her arms to the bed and sat down on the edge as Daddy struck a match to light the coal-oil lamp. The shadows inside the bedroom were eerie, as if Mama and Daddy were somewhere between life and death. Maybe it was the dark before dawn, but it seemed I could almost see through them. Daddy moved in flickered steps while Mama's cry sounded miles away. As I watched, a smoky haze formed as if a gray veil had fallen over the room, but it didn't scare me none. I knew I was watching something extraordinary. I'd never been nearby when a baby died. Maybe it was different for them. A newborn can't have no sin, so maybe the angels are softer when they come to get them.

I twisted my hand tighter into Cora's nightshirt as I felt her wet face soak through my gown, wetting my back.

"I DID THIS!" Mama stood up screaming. "It's me, John! I promised God he could have it all if he wouldn't take Henry — my only boy — away from me! I said I'd give Him whatever He wanted!" Mama was sobbing so hard that her teardrops splattered against the floor at her feet. "I'm sorry, Grace!" she screamed. Looking up toward the ceiling, Mama shouted, "I didn't mean you could have my baby! Oh God…," she cried. "I didn't mean you could have Grace."

Mama's body crumpled as she dropped to the floor. Instinctively, Daddy grabbed Grace from her arms as she went down. I ran to help Mama, but when I got close enough to grab her, I saw Daddy's face close up. His green eyes had a sickly gaze and he was white as a bleached bedsheet. Carved into his skin, wrinkles had plowed themselves deeper overnight. He turned to the cradle and gently laid Grace inside.

"I did this," Mama cried again.

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